Ever felt like you just weren’t “born with” certain strengths? Maybe you think you aren’t a naturally perseverant or spontaneous person. If you’re stuck in that “capability trap,” it’s time for a perspective shift. The truth is, you might be looking at your strengths all wrong by confusing skills with Habits of Mind (HoM)
Skills are Muscles, Habits are Services
Think of a skill like physical fitness. If you used to write ten pages by hand every day but now only type, your hand might start to pain when you pick up a pen again because you’ve lost that specific “fitness”. Skills are developed capabilities that can be measured—you can be “better” or “worse” at them.
Habits of Mind, however, are like a “service” or a tool that is already pre-installed in every one of us from birth. They don’t get “weaker” or “stronger” based on use; they are simply mental dispositions available to you whenever you choose to call on them.
The Choice Over Capability
One of the most liberating ideas is that Habits of Mind don’t really have “opposites. Take responsibility. You aren’t actually “irresponsible”; you are usually just choosing to be responsible for something else in that moment.
For instance, if you didn’t put your shoes away, maybe you were being responsible for the “important task” of eating cake! It isn’t about lacking the habit; it’s about where you choose to point that service.
style is your personal signature
We all have the same “pre-packaged bundle” of services available, but how we use them is our personal style.
- One person might be punctual for a party but not for work.
- Another might be spontaneous while shopping but rigid with their schedule.
- One person might show adaptability inside the house while another shows it outside.
This doesn’t mean one person “has” the strength and the other doesn’t. You’re both using the same tools; you’re just applying them in different departments.
Label it to see it
We often think we lack these habits because we associate them with “grand” or “great” images. You might think you aren’t perseverant because you aren’t climbing Mount Everest. But what about when you drag yourself to take a bath every single day when you really don’t want to? That is perseverance in action.
When you start labelling these small, everyday actions correctly, you’ll realize you’ve been using these habits all along
Next time you feel like you’re “missing” a strength, stop and look closer. You’ve already got the service—you just need to become conscious of it and choose to use it more systematically.
Here is another article about identifying Habits of Mind