During one of our weekly orientations, parents were introducing themselves and what their children are currently doing. Interestingly, one mom introduced her child saying, ‘he struggles with studies and exams but he is bright otherwise’. And she went onto to exclaim ‘ well, that’s a mom speaking!’ There was a pronounced underlining in her statement, almost emphasizing the term ‘otherwise’. And this is a common observation, when parents introduce their children who might be struggling with the mainstream academics.
all we see is only problems, everywhere!!!
The problem is when our child is not fitting well into their school or college life, as parents, we start looking at them with only judgement and then all we see is their issues, struggles and anxiety. We continuously push the child to try and somehow adjust to the mainstream education system. All our efforts are focused on improving their shortcomings. Somewhere, we forget to look at their individual strengths, their interests and what is it that they like doing!
which side of the knife will you sharpen?
As parents, there can’t be a bigger worry than seeing your child not enjoy what they are doing. We want to desperately understand our child and look at every possible option that can help them lead a life of their choice. However, the constant magnification of their challenges and struggles can push them down a spiral, further inducing low self esteem and severe self-doubt.
Why focus on our child’s blunt edges when the child’s strengths, talents, unique abilities, their sharp side is the power which the child will use to navigate, build and live life.
Reject >> Accept >> Respect >> Opportunities
There are endless possibilities that can arise when we look at our child without the lens of judgement. We shift from the mindset of ‘rejecting’ to ‘accepting’ the child for who they are and start ‘respecting’ their individual capabilities. This enables both the child and the parent to start looking at the ‘opportunities’ available for them.
Check this 1 min clip of a mom sharing what happened when she stopped viewing her child with the lens of judgement.
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxVukzY-n7Kx_Xmp8JhyXXgtUldtAYwO76?si=QquoOW8nbg4UCNK7
