Children are not the product which can be operated with the help of a manual. Yet children expect us to deal with them in a specific. Let’s explore what parenting manual will children give us.
What if you got an operating manual with your child?
Obviously you are glad that you did not get any such manual. What fun would be parenting, or for that matter life, if we knew exactly what to do when the child drops his saliva into his milk to check out how the taste will change or when the little teen wants to shave her head just because her classmates are doing so.
But lets today talk more about what our children would want to put in that manual, what would they like to tell us parents and teachers – since a fork is not designed as per who holds it, rather what needs to be picked up!
Remember, I no-like you a referee; I prefer you a coach:
A referee whistles the whole day, points out mistakes, shows what is wrong. A coach comes in only when needed, recognizes and works through my strengths, gets me to understand the game, so that I can develop my own style.
Remember, I am the child you use to be:
I will not only grow-up, but also grow out – of many habits, behaviors, ideas, desires, dreams. I am a vibrant being constantly experimenting, unintermittedly evolving – do not label or cast me based on my ‘now’ – these are but few initial pages of my life’s novel – expect many twists and turns.
Remember, me is MY JOB. Your job is YOU:
You do not need to LET-GO of me. You need to let go of controlling me. I enjoy and learn hugely from self control (when you allow) – self decisions, self explorations, self discipline. Only I can teach myself to walk. I love you being (not FOR me) but WITH me.
Remember just as you are you, I am I:
You are aware how both of us are different. And there is no need to make me same as you. No need to produce clones. Enjoy the different channel I am while you revel in your own. I bask in my own glory when I step out of your shadows.
Remember the best gift you can give me is ‘present’.
This is a humble request – please do not worry about my future – for that is my future – its my responsibility, I will shape it. I do not want to live for a wonderful tomorrow. I want to live in a wonderful today. Spend more time with me – today – giggling under pillow fights, staining souls in mud puddles, slurping happiness in baraf-ka-gola and crying over silly melodramatic movies.
Remember the teacher is the one who is herself learning, failing experimenting.
I want you to be my teacher – not of subjects or skills or values. Rather teach me how to learn. Please do this by doing, failing, exploring, crying, laughing and enjoying. I do not want you to sit outside the pool and tell me how to make the right swimming strokes. I want you to jump in and together we will go underwater and together we come up and burp – life.
Dad, Mom, Teacher, and all Adults -Lets enjoy life deeply, together.
By Aditi & Ratnesh