Our thoughts create our realities. Labels work same way. Have lousy thoughts, think lousy labels and create lousy children. Have lovely thoughts, think lovely labels and create magic. Choice is yours.
Lousy labels, lovely labels – It’s not just a tongue twister – it’s a complete mind twister. Read on.
A visit to supermarket will confirm this. Each product is donned in beautiful, colorful, flashy, and lovely labels. The words scream at you: ‘best’, ‘top quality’, ‘great’, ‘amazing results’ etc. Would you buy any stuff if the label said ‘dumb’, ‘sordid’ ‘useless’?
Moreover, we tend to believe whatever is written on the product. There was a research done in which a set of wine lovers were given two bottles of wine – one a local low cost brand, another an imported premium brand. Only the labels of the two bottles were switched. More than 90% of the wine tasters told that the wine with the ‘premium label’ is DEFINITELY FAR SUPERIOR.
Another research – this time with kids. A teacher was given two classes to teach. She was told that one class is full of dumb, while another has brilliant kids. Actually the children were all taken from same batch of similar average level. Three months later, the dumb kids class scored terribly in their tests, while the other’s were outstanding.
Psychology calls it Pygmalion effect. Simply put – people believe in labels you put on them and actually try to prove it true!
Now imagine this: suppose you were to have a stick-on note-pad with you. Every time you called your child “whatever” you were to write it down and stick it on his or her shirt. At the end of the day, what does the shirt read as: Will it be a collage of “careless”, “impatient”, “silly”, “stupid”, “dumb”, “horrible”, “spoilt”, “talkative”, “ill-mannered”, “crazy”, “irresponsible” “obstinate”, “rude”, ….. (If you can add ten more to this – welcome to the club!).
Or will it be a shinning ensemble of “brilliant”, “superb”, “energetic”, “beautiful”, “loving”, “kind”, “cultured”, “responsible”, “respectful”, “courageous, ……” (if you do this – let me salute you!)
Most of us put LOUSY labels. If so, then what do you expect! If you are putting lousy labels – please DO NOT expect LOVELY thoughts within. When you call your child stupid – can the child think inside “Hey I am really smart”? If you call your child irresponsible – do you believe she will become responsible or whether she will start thinking that SHE IS irresponsible? So that next time round – don’t be surprised if she did something that is irresponsible. “Hey, you only said that I was a irresponsible girl, didn’t you?”
Flip it upside down – and LOVELY labels bring lovely results. Another research was conducted on two sales teams of the same company in two cities. Team A was told that theirs is the best team in the company and were given ‘button badges’ which said, “We are the best” (they took the label idea literally). Team B was untouched. Next quarter, team A’s sales was double, team B’s same.
Here is a simple strategy that I have designed to implement LOVELY labels:
STEP 1
Every day in the morning, take two slips of paper. On one write LOUSY LABELS. Then ceremoniously tear it into small shreds. Or for a more compelling effect – BURN it. (Do this daily till the lousy labels vanish from your system).
STEP 2
Every day choose any one lovely label. Write it on the slip. Commit to it. Now all you have to do is to whole day LOOK for opportunities when you can put that label on your child. (don’t literally put it on his or her shirt – just tell them, “Hey, you let the old lady go in the lift first, you are so CONSIDERATE (or well mannered)” “Hey, look how clean is your desk – you are so ORGANISED” “You took your bath early and you look so PRETTY today. If by any chance you did not find any opportunity for today’s label – just use some other and carry this forward. Persevere till you find. You will be surprised.
STEP 3
Do this little labeling daily and watch your dream child come true. Remember you are THE BEST PARENT and your child just needs that from you!
Happy lovely labeling!