Dear Boredom,
I am writing this to apologize. I’ve treated you like an unwanted guest always. When you knocked on my window I hid you in my phone’s bottomless scroll. When you whispered in my child’s ears, I frowned. I threw toys at you; swapped you for Chhota Bheem and Dora. I made sure you had no place to sit and treated you like a failure of my parenting.
Over the years I tried outsmart you. I could sense signals of you coming before your whispers and knocks. I grew confident in snubbing you or pounce on you. Don’t get me wrong, I had no problem with you; I had problem with me. When My child asked “What should I do?”, I froze. I felt responsible for the whining of my child. I got stomach butterflies When my child announced “I am bored”. I was hell-bent on fixing you. But more I silenced you more noise you made.
I threw challenges at you. The louder you banged, the more I turned my back. Eventually you became the elephant in the room. When my child threw tantrum, I showered my irritation back on him. I hid behind the masks of
“Victimhood” – What all i can do i am alone?
“Helplessness” – I tried doing so much, but …
“Emotional outburst” – Anger and sobs
…and many more. Still found a crack to sneak back in our lives. I hated you from the bottom of my heart.
One day in a fit of rage i decided to set the score. I thought let’s face you. I was ready with all my strategies. After all I thought and planned about those strategies day in day out. As always you came in the most unexpected times. I used all my strategies –
Strategy 1 LOGIC – “To tell my child there is nothing called as boredom. (Failed miserably)”
Strategy 2 COMPARISON – “Look at every other child in the world!’ (I was shown the door)”
Strategy 3 POWER – “Using my might to prove my child wrong. (I was proven wrong)”
By this time I was exhausted. In that moment of defeat I left the room. I left you and my child alone, together.
I sat with my butterflies and resisted my urge to snatch my child from your hands. At first you two were noisy and whining. And then you did something unexpected. You took my child in the lap and showed him an empty cardboard box.
Few minutes later he was engrossed, using that box in many ways. The box became a toy truck , rolling block, and a hideout. I was mesmerized. The elephant did not crush us after all. The “Nothing to do” became the biggest canvas for my child. In that moment of stillness I saw you as a firefly, the tiny spark.
Today I want to express my gratitude for being there with your full might.
Thank you for fighting against everything I threw at you.
Thank you for making space for explorations.
Yours truly
A bored parent
P.S. – Read at Aarohi – “How to deal with the boredom”