Some parents asks us what does Un in UnParenting stand for?
Un has two parts to it.
Part 1 – Un stands for Understanding the child.
In most cases we, parents and teachers, DO NOT understand the child!
Surprised? Disagree!
You see, we know an awful lot about the child, but we do not understand the child. This knowing makes us believe that we know how to respond. (or we may even look for a technique or a solution).
Fortunately or unfortunately it’s impossible to understand somebody – simply because the other person is dynamic and his or her feelings, thoughts and actions are changing every moment.
At best we can catch some of these via the few expressions they make. Usually we mix these few expressions with a whole lot of our beliefs and we end up making assumptions and conclusions and we think we understand the child.
But No Sir or Maam – we don’t understand the child
If we realise that we DO NOT understand the child then we would look at the child MORE – for guidance, for answers, for resolutions, for ways and for understanding.
Just imagine what will happen to me once I realise that I cannot understand the child?
Will I become more open, accepting, listening, relaxed, curious, intrigued, excited about the child? I may then, even start realising that there are Unlimited ways to look at the situation (and not just the ones that my mind or what the world has thought and taught me as appropriate ways).
Then I don’t need guidance, for the guide is already with me – my child.
By now you’ld guessed what is Part – 2
Yes, the second Un stands for Unlimited.
Once the roof of knowing or understanding is blown away, the whole sky full of options are showering their sight on us. We (me and the child) just explore some together.
Ladies and Gentlemen let us invite our children to this world of abundance!
Consider trying any or all of these Reflective & Insightful Quizzes for Parents and Teen-Parents and Teenagers:
