Rigor in Open Learning

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There is a myth that open learning means an “easy path”.

And these myths get busted when you meet some of the young learners at Aarohi
Dhrupad,15yrd old is meticulously training himself to be a professional footballer – he knows that he is not there, he needs to develop the skills and he is working on deep practice.
Sreya, 16yrs old has just started to work on her passion – she knows that to get there in Veena/Music/Dance she needs to get the rigor with a guru and the cohort to keen her inspiration – she is not shying away from giving 10th to get an admission in a music school.
Srishti, 12yrs old, has just started practicing deeply and deliberately for her dream of gymnastics.
Krishiv, 12yrs old is just getting into the groove of focused work on his love of Origami
And Skanda, Advik, Shikha, Aswathy, Devi, Yashas, Davin…..all young adults (14-17yrs old) creating their deep dive practice and understanding this rigor path of reaching out to their dreams.

Sometimes the lack of understanding brings anxiety and we fall into the trap. But the other way to understand anxiety is to understand learning.
The role of parents becomes important to understand the path of the deep-dive in open learning.
And that is what some of us as parents meet together and explore different aspects of PASSION for POSSIBILITIES in open learning.

The topics ranges
What is success?
What is money?
What is the role of the play?
What is passion?
What are our anxieties….and so on

SOME NOTES FROM our EXPLORATIONS – Imagine a learning community where we are learning constantly, as parents we thrive to understand the various aspects of learning.

DEEP DIVE Learning becomes a way of creating – We create our own learning
We ALL are GIFTED. The RIGHT training – it’s just about repeating but doing it diligently with the right training.

How do we make our body and brain adapt to make that possible – use deliberate practice

Practicing with a purpose

Getting input from a coach
Taking feedback from self and others – how do I Improve, what went wrong, what went right?

And keep on improving your performance

You learn and you feel that you have become an expert – it becomes an autopilot mode and without the loop of FEEDBACK it becomes stagnant.
You start to become stagnant – not moving ahead, come out of the autopilot mode, and do it consciously.



  2. Specific FEEDBACK – during the practice, what all is observed, identify the nuisances, identify your struggles, identify your weaknesses, record positive and negative things that happened. Keep the feedback in mind for the next day’s practice – intertwine with practice.

  3. Add CHALLENGES – the key is to come out of your comfort zone, challenge yourself – the moment you think you are perfect, you will stop learning. Every single practice makes a difference when you add challenges.

  4. DIFFERENT METHODS – not only to try hard but also to try differently.

RIGOR – not necessarily happy, pushing yourself, going beyond your limits – how are you going to motivate yourself?
COACH – actively involved in your practice

ENVIRONMENT – how can we create an environment where DEEP PRACTICE can FLOURISH?

Focus is a way to make it happen

The importance is given by me as a parent

How much effort do I show my efforts – elementary component in the environment to see the importance in his work,

Importance to deep focus/doing
Using Tools


Spend time on one – where is the balance of other activities?

The child has no anxiety – why do we get the anxiety?

Should we bring the balance of learning everything or stay calm and observe?

We do DELIBERATE practice in different ways in different things, but we may not realize it
The core is to figure out – DO I want to increase my INTENSITY?
Whichever pace you are doing – if you are fine then it’s fine

If you wish to increase the pace, you may like to look at it NEXT INTENSITY

WHY ASKING is more Difficult than giving

Ask your role model to teach you
Ask the author of the book to guide you to write

Ask institutes to give you what you want
Ask people, ask for advice, ask for ideas, Ask for feedback, ask for an opinion, Ask for doing it differently
Asking for a cause is easier than asking for self?

Asking for money for the work you do

Why do we feel diminished asking?

If it is not just me who is feeling – is it some kind of societal thing?

Is the rejection stops us from asking

Fear of rejection, decided the response, assumptions in our mind when we are asking, deciding in our minds

Why do we need to be financially dependent?
Why do we need to learn living?
I do what I like doing and someone else taking care of me

Children are more worried about earning the living, compromising their time and effort by thinking about how to earn money?
Why our children already feeling insecure to earn their living

How do we become indispensable so asking is easier?
Something stops us from going all out and asking
Only human being have to earn their living, all others find their living

Having the confidence to GIVE than you will not be hesitant to ASK

How about not even becoming indispensable, how about thinking that they feel good about it, you are valuable so you give to me, and make others feel good about themselves by giving them the opportunity to GIVE
Success is measured by money, earning and earned success through hard work but
We have not to build stories around ASKING
BUDDHA who was king turned bhikshu asking for his food to LIVE HIS PaSSION than earning his living.


Play called Life

When does it become play?

And when it becomes NOT play?

How do we play with aspects that we normally not dare to PLAY like money or religion?

Why is Play important?

Word important is only associated with work not play

Slow learner?

Play with Money, How?

Play with Relationships?


What is NOT play? – using methods that are proven – it becomes more of a burden

Habits, Change,

Setting Limits and boundaries makes it NOT a play? Or Safe Play

Is “doing seriously” play?

Expected result – are we much concerned?

When there is a play, there is joy. If I’m not enjoying it ain’t play.

Joy v/s Happiness

Joy – taking no more challenges.

Can we play with emotions? Do we anyways experience the whole spectrum of emotions?

Engaging with being creative, changing things, change rules,

If PLAY a mental state?

Patterns v/s Rules; Cohesiveness v/s Boundaries

Accept the rules, What is not Negotiable, what is Negotiable? Is this a choice?

CURIOSITY How do we bring curiosity listening?

Circle of Trust – How do we bring LISTENING?

Passion to Profession

When we talk about passion – it is today

When we talk about the profession – it is in the future

What is it that I am enjoying and investing myself into every day?

Make passion meaningful on a daily basis

What is we take away the emphasis on the profession?

Means of providing your passion – how you package, how you hone it?

How to bring more alternatives, how to create those skills?

How to fine tunes – market needs, family needs, self needs …?

The intersection at the world needs and my needs – Does this needs to be practiced?

I innovate my skills as per my needs, the world needs – meaningful for both

Key skills we may like to look into – ability to communicate with the world, thinking and deciding, ability to sell and make cases, and resilience.

Am I busy BECOMING something?

Is it taking away the PLAY?

Do they need “Unlimited Time to play and the tools of the culture



Is it necessary to do everything JOYFULLY?


so the implications

if we share scarcity to our kids on jobs/future/opportunities – they may see it that way

If we explore ABUNDANCE in each field/passion/interest – we may share that abundance with our kids.

We continue from here tomorrow morning at 6 am wondering if anyone has a question?
or a thought?
or a resource
or something to take the journey ahead of the understanding of exploring living and learning or passion or profession?
Just wondering if anyone would like to explore IKAGAI or GAME INTELLIGENCE or anything else?

Self Intro and Stories Galore – Today’s Satsang Notes

safe jobs, once our children are in safe jobs society appreciates, what if that’s not the case? what are these safe jobs according to society? according to us? we have been so used to choosing safe jobs for generations, how do we and our children build the idea of which ones are safe jobs? how long does the safety of a job last? how can we develop skills so we have a safe life?

Our conflicts and how we are ok with children staying awake late at night when they are immersing themselves in things that we consider as valuable, things we consider as productive while we are not ok when it’s for watching movies& shows, even though for them it’s two different things that they enjoy.

how child and parent explore life beyond 10th/12th confidently because there are so many things in life that one can do – singing, dancing, acting, sports.

what does passion mean? what about necessities of life – cooking, cleaning, garbage collection, serving at the restaurant.. are people who are doing it, passionate about it? are there some things that are worthy of love while others are not? isn’t exploring one’s passion also a matter of privilege? how long does one’s passion last?

How to find harmony when life involves many things whether we are passionate about them or not. To be passionate is valid but it’s necessary to function in the world.

to be in harmony with self and with the world with one’s abilities and disabilities – this harmony is needed to be in harmony at home.

harmony, not a static thing, not a milestone but something that needs to be achieved every day, every time..

it doesn’t matter what one passion is, or if it’s ever-changing as long as the passion provides gifts to oneself and to the world around us (gift – whats of use, valuable to oneself and the world)

How beautiful the journey of learning about learning and self-direction has been, relishing the joy of children when they discover new things v/s when they are taught about it and proud to have discovered this path.

Importance of social skills over academics, so many explorations, changing passions, worried that not focussing on one, worried when focusing too much one, happy to see many of the previous explorations being used and coming handy later, at peace with the flow.

how planning, reflection have been developed as habits, no pressure no expectations other than body care and health.

Necessity mother of invention, how passion about reading is conflicting with reality, finding balance. discovering ways to gift passion.

the need to explore many passions, changing jobs, discovering that when you do and experience it might be very different from how you thought it will be.

parent joining as a child, apprehensions i am not smart enough, children taught me how to be with them, empowered by the learning, flowing with life, the child dreams different to mine, supporting the child, being with him, many times surprised by the many ways they learn.


If we want our kids to earn money – why not build that skill now

If education is not enabling us to get what we want to do or sustain in economically, then what skills do we need to develop? What is the purpose?

Maybe we are just going with the flow? Society, people stories, money, conditioning,

Are we driven by the popular world view?

What is it?

Our ability to live in this world?

Having an opportunity to have an examined life?

How to learn to live in this world?

Can I just live? Throwing challenges and situations and wade through the and the result will be my learning

Doing things which can fetch earning – money, experience,

Living as the leader rather than learning as the pre-qualification

When a child is doing what we feel safe (for example Advik doing stock market) we are at peace
When a child is not doing what brings anxiety to us (for example playing video games) – then we are high on anxiety.
What does it mean?

What are 10th and 12th and Degrees?

Story of Advik shared by Naveen – along with the passion of trading – has become more responsible towards areas also. Not concerned about the world view – 10th/12th/degree etc. Developing skills itself is a pressure – then why to put additional pressure on other things like 10th/ 12th and degrees. As parents got convinced with his ability to lead his life.

Understand 10th and 12th a bit more – how do we look at it? What does this security mean? Is this sufficient? What is the world/professional reality?

How to understand this different world view? Understand self, understand our fear, understand the source of information, support the child to understand different aspects.

Creating my own world view – How do I understand what I need, what is my role,

WONDER – What all motivated or drove us to choose unschooling for our children? What did we look for and where are we now?

A few years back, coming back from our best education/ our own profession, discovering deschooling, giving to our kids to live and learn, didn’t know that such a thing existed, if it has to come as a force or until they choose as real need let it continue. Did you worry about how the future would be?

In our own life the usages of degrees have been a very little use, the learning tool for self while working, self-motivated, learning in my hand and continue to learn and live made the difference to have trust in this process – every single child can do it when they choose why they choose is an important point – when discovered that it’s all about learning, and then there was no worry.

Isn’t it that we as parents have our own fears and those experiences are driving us what we are creating for our kids? Are the kids’ needs different? How do we experiment with this whole thing?

Next episode, next Friday, 6 am – What we want to offer to our children? How do we understand what it means to live our lives?


What is passion?

Can I become passionate about whatever I do?

We are still discovering our passion

Does the world view affect passion or doing?

Can only passion lead to livelihood?

Is it only about livelihood?

Why not change interest?

What is a waste of time?
If we don’t convert into a real passion – is it really a waste of time?

Everything we are passionate about – does it need to get converted into a profession?

A field like the practice of science requires scientific methods? Is it viewed only as a path through institutions?

Do these words comes in our minds – Recognition, Security, Money, Position, Authority, Anxiety, Fear of the future, qualified

How about – Expertise, mastery, skillfulness, quality, reliability, consistency,

Is it about profession or
Can we bring expression for my passion?

Something to showcase, messaging from the world may be driving the anxiety of the future, our urge to make financial independence, our priorities?

Do we also have a definition of how learning happens?
Are we trapped in BECOMING something other than DOING?


2. Understand, churn p2p so we can help each other play a more active role in our child’s environment.

3. Questioning what is passion, timeframe, does it have to become a profession?

4. Influence, Anxiety that society brings in , Money, livelihoods.

5. What happens if money is taken out of the equation, how about passionately doing everything – a passionately lived life..

6. Science as a method of inquiry, experimentation, results, and approach to life.

7. Being a dancer, scientists in the distant future v/s living it today.

8. Each family environment is different and needs driving it.

9. Not seriously thinking about p2p, pondering about what should i start thinking?

10. Shall money, need for security sidestep passion?

11. Which keywords does profession invoke – mastery, specialization, consistency, usefulness or money, power, fame, authority

12. Image of being at the top, diminishing our present levels of performance.

14. Story – The Allopathyst’s Wife – passionate Homeopatthist and a very special mother.

15. Staying with the child, wondering, helping, amazed at happenings, promising to meet needs & inviting to discover ways to meet wants.

16. Need for a child to be independent, financially, and overall, soon.

17. And I know I haven’t captured all

18. and a few of us didn’t get a chance to share.

19. it’s just the beginning..


It’s not only about singing, but it’s also about music,

It’s also not only about music, it’s about the performing arts

It’s not only about the performing arts, it’s also about the art

And it’s not only about the art, but it’s also about infinite choices…

It’s also not only about the focus, it’s also about losing it

It’s not only about one passion, but one interest it’s also about many passions and many interests

It’s not only about one focus interest, it’s also about not having anyone interest

It’s as much as about being lost, confused, and only YOU

It’s also not about two paths – one is 10th, 12th or other is focused work on interest

It’s about MANY PATHS, it’s about YOUR PATH

So it’s also not about following your path, its also about changing that path

It’s not about only holistic, it’s also about the popularity

It’s not only about the slow pace, or any other pace, it’s about YOUR PACE

It’s not either-or or, its infinite

So the framework is not A-Z vocabulary, it’s about 0-infinity

It’s not the framework, it’s about the OpenLiving

it’s also not about the OpenLiving – it’s about YOU LIVING.

So the REVIEW is not about the framework or your passion or your interest or focus or profession it’s about YOU and your world view

The world is telling their view to you – have to passion, focus, have security, have goals, be useful, have livelihood….it’s time for you to share your views to add to many views of the world. Hence the PANELIST CHALLENGE is not about what the world would like to hear or believe, but what do you believe in it.

The sharing with the world is not about showcasing your achievements or your success, but to PRESENT “YOU” to the world with YOUR CHOICES at this moment. THIS moment is important, and this may change the next moment, so the presentation to the world is not your commitment alone, but your THOUGHT at this moment, because you are YOU at this moment.


1. discovering more on what hobby, passion, profession invokes in them (parent and child)

Shall we send some questions in advance to the parent/child to start the conversation?

And also start with the prompts on Friday –

2a. how do we facilitate ‘deep practice/dive’ if that’s what the child wants ( not what the parent wants)

The p2p framework got developed through their needs – so they now test it and make it richer for themselves.
But we also bring the clarity that it is not for all (if the churning at home begins, the chances are that the child-parent are coming with some understanding of their narratives and not getting drawn towards the nature of the framework.

2b. how do we facilitate ‘exploration and many or few interests”?
First, brainwash to come to self. And make their own narratives.

3. how do we facilitate open living for the child and parent, wherein they can let each other live more in the present and less in the future.

Is this not our narrative? Shall we let them create their own narrative?

It’s not only about singing, but it’s also about music,

It’s also not only about music, it’s about the performing arts

It’s not only about the performing arts, it’s also about the art

And it’s not only about the art, but it’s also about infinite choices…

It’s also not only about the focus, it’s also about losing it

It’s not only about one passion, but one interest it’s also about many passions and many interests

It’s not only about one focus interest, it’s also about not having anyone interest

It’s as much as about being lost, confused, and only YOU

It’s also not about two paths – one is 10th, 12th or other is focused work on interest

It’s about MANY PATHS, it’s about YOUR PATH

So it’s also not about following your path, its also about changing that path

It’s not about only holistic, it’s also about the popularity

It’s not only about the slow pace, or any other pace, it’s about YOUR PACE

It’s not either-or or, its infinite

So the framework is not A-Z vocabulary, it’s about 0-infinity

It’s not the framework, it’s about the opening

it’s also not about the OpenLiving – it’s about YOU LIVING.


Find out what you want to do, Decide, Figure out, explore different aspects, choose specific goals, find out the final goal, goals can change. Make connections, develop skills, figure out what all you need to reach the goal.

Find resources where you can learn from, gain knowledge – one or many resources and create a path of your own
I started with realizing passion so don’t change, create a detailed plan, final goal, and milestones in between.
Does not mean only one thing, change tracks, You can deep dive into different areas.

If you are confused – start with few passions, explore more and find your path


HELPS – Organizing thoughts through reflection to clear all self-doubts, Deep dive a way of thinking, A mentor (domain expert to advise), Setting goals, Way to track my progress, Planning and Reflection, Having a peer of the same age to push, to question, and to listen (someone focused on the task), Taking one day at a time, focusing on what I do today and then plan next day (the overall plan is in mind), flexibility as each day is different, consistent mentors who have an understanding about the process, ready to walk along with me,
Need knowledge, skills, and abilities in the fields – whatever resources you have to accumulate the skills. Accumulated knowledge makes the pace faster, experimental pace leads to accumulating knowledge, People’s story helps, Create your own set of beliefs which are based on your experience, role model to give me exposure, inspire me, give me more exposure
To stay on the path is planning and reflection


Overthinking, what if (Analysis Paralysis), Age is late for related fields,

I know I have to do more, but I just don’t do, sometimes self-beliefs are limiting, My own work I don’t like, Not able to do as much as I like – hard work does not happen, it becomes a vicious cycle of guilt insecurity and it can be challenging.


Mood, I feel I am surrounded with good people, exciting, sometimes ups and downs, realize as going ahead, all don’t care, listen to people who are mentors, self-discovery with experience, sometimes very confused what to do for future, what all steps to take, what if wrong will it impact the career, how to play safe or risk it,

Prepare THE HOST, Shape THE ENVIRONMENT & STOP FIGHTING THE VIRUS (Aware of the Virus but immune to it)

host – the child ( accumulated knowledge + creativity) so they may adapt/create & lead – i am able , gifts, self and world evaluations, a portfolio that demonstrate their knowledge and ingenuity

environment – parents, society, governments for a nurturing environment

prepare for the virus – distractions (so they do not become addictions), ignorance (emotional int., discipline, make sense of the contradictions, systems of the world) , fears (10/12)

parents – let us only keep telling them how to nurture, tell them stories that demonstrate the impact of nurturing, many choices in case they need backup ( so they themselves feel that 10/12th is the worst of options on hand)