From a mother’s diary – Empowering

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Do we need to empower children? Or are they born empowered?

Maybe we need to get out of their way – Maybe start walking with them or sometimes behind them – just following ’em.

Maybe we need to enjoy our parenting/teaching role more – by realizing that it is not one set role but a million ways of enriching both our’s and child’s life.

Maybe it’s not about being right (or wrong). Maybe it’s about exploring what I want.

Do you want to see the child’s thinking as right or wrong or value as her thinking?

Do you see events as problems or opportunities?

Do you want to work on the contents or on the container?

I would like to share a bit about the insights that came through thanks to yesterday’s session. Firstly, I am very grateful for yesterday’s session. The question ‘What do I want?’ has already felt like a game changer. It has made things a lot simpler too! When I truly checked in with myself, I received so many answers that were truly not in keeping with what I would consciously want!

I realised that there were many underlying wants that directed my interaction with my daughter-
I wanted to help her when she was stuck with a few things, because I wanted her to succeed in that activity. I had no idea that I functioned from this underlying belief.
Even though I often did not interfere with how she used her toys, I have also caught myself helping here see the usual way of playing with the toy- again operating from my belief, that it would probably be more fun if she saw the way the toy was meant to be played. (Without realising that I probably in turn took away so many more new ways in which she could have explored it)
About food! I have tried to really direct this aspect of her life. And at most times, fully consciously too. As it was often the one point of argument that really stayed between me and hubby. He wanted her to be independent. I kept thinking it’s too early. And we need to nudge her and also accommodate for her preferences (which involved cooking options if need be!) Not fully trusting her ability to know and to learn.
Today has been a very different morning. There have been almost no ‘Nos’.
There was pencil scribbling over cupboards and walls with no re-directing to paper. (I found a pinterest on how to get it out, for if and whenever we need it
There was breaking of the window supports of her new cardboard house that was made just 2 days ago!
There was eating of more than her usual amounts of dry fruits. Open up the packet and serving herself. There was also pouring out of the contents of a pack of cloves… refilling, re-emptying….
There was water colour paint all over the table and then all over her body. I called her Bluey
There is a washing of clothes going on and a few other things.
Most importantly she is yet to have her lunch, and I am sitting comfortably away and letting her take her time to decide when she wants to eat.
And here is the toughest- This thing has never happened and would normally have freaked me out- She had drain hair in her hand when I last peeped in! But we just flushed it, peacefully gave soap for her hand wash and realised- Guess what?-It’s not the end of the World!
Thank you Jagriti
I know I cannot always accommodate all of this, as we may have routines that do not leave space for all of it. But the underlying approach is something I find very liberating and empowering