Are we Gendered?


You are a boy, You are a girl. Girl talks to boy OH MY GOD! The pairing of opposite genders happens in the community? Gossip about a boy talking to a girl happens? We have gender images (pink and blue, soft and hard, emotional and logical) – Are these a part of the community?

Do we mind 8 yrs becoming close friends with the opposite gender, but we there is gossip about a 14yr old becomingclose friends with the opposite gender – ever wondered why?

The topics on Gender became a choice for today’s teen cafe.

We did…Take a few minutes, make a partner with a friend, and do this exercise consciously – Look into the eyes of the person, scan the face, then the body. Look for details you have not observed, what if you had the other person’s body, What are the similarities, What are the differences…End with looking into eyes for a few seconds and finally Acknowledge your partner and take a minute with how this whole experience for you.

We felt…Awkward, Funny, Embarrassed, First time experience, Weird, Doubt – what is the benefit, most difficult was to look into the eyes, Don’t want to change my body, Can’t imagine, Somebody parts are the same, some are different were some of the responses, Opposite gender made it awkward, Same-gender would have been easier

We pondered…What is gender? Social image? What is the difference? Some responses were : Two different groups in species, Different body parts, Genes, DIfferent growth rate, Hormones, Biological difference, Mental, Think differently (emotions, mind, gentle, sensitive), Physically (stong, softer), Puberty differences,people have images about boys and girls, gender inequality in trains (reserved seats for women), others treating boys and girls differently

There are many differences between the social and cultural upbringing of boy and girl – the toys, the clothes, the words ( don’t cry like a girl), colors, games and so on.

What if I say the only and only difference between a male and female is their biological differences, which is their reproductive system which also means different puberty changes and hormones. All the other differences have been created by us, We have been GENDERED! Gender is thus the socio-cultural definition of girls and boys, men and women given by society.Our societies define what girls and boys should wear, what they should do, how they should be treated, and what their rights and responsibilities will be. Because societies create gender, the definitioncan varyfrom society to society and from time to time. Also,because human beings create gender, they can change it, if they want to, if they are not happy with it.

We were questioned…We discussed on this thought. A lot of sharing on how peers influence, how teasing happens, how romantic relationship has become the main lense of looking at boy and girl and so on.

How am I gendered? What images of gender do I carry? How are we bringing these gendered images to the community?