Understanding about “Getting in touch with my thoughts and feelings” with Sonal. Sonal runs an organization called Journey 2selfhood. She is a mother of 2 homeschooler’s teenagers, a counselor for children and parents and a life coach.
Imagine Aarohi, An Open Learning Community, where there are no classes
Imagine a learning community where there is no curriculum
Imagine Aarohi where there are no teachers – we learn from anyone and everyone
We got introduced to a new tool and way of looking at the situation. “The model” – It’s a self-coaching model. Our gratitude to Brooke Castillo who is the author of “The Model”
CTFAR
C: CIRCUMSTANCE – Situations and Facts. Circumstances are not in our control
T: THOUGHT – My thought about the circumstances
F: FEELINGS – My feeling about the thought
ACTION – What do I do when I feel/think in that situation
RESULT – What is the result of my feeling/thoughts and actions
Many times we engage in this thought-feeling – reaction loop and it doesn’t support us. We have the power of thought, Our thoughts are in our hand. What if we change the thought does that affect the loop, does that create a supporting situation for us?
Feelings are a source of information to us, they can help us to understand ourselves. How much time and space do we take to reflect and get in touch with our feelings and thoughts? How much do we converse about feelings with our friends?
One example of using the model we did during the session
C – A child makes new rules for others but not follow himself
T – He has no business in other’s life
F – Frustration
A – Shout
R – He also shouts
Is this loop helping? Supporting?
Let’s look at another way – we can choose our thoughts.
C – Child, who makes new rules for others but not follow himself
T – Maybe he is not aware of what he is doing
F – Pitty
A – Remind him to do his work
R – let go.
If I change the thought what happens? Does it become a more pleasant situation for me? Does changing the thought, change my feelings and actions and help me come out of the loop?
Some thoughts at the end of the session were
The model will help in shifting the feelings but the challenge would be to remember that I can change my thoughts. The model is a different way to reflect. It can help me be calmer.
Each different thoughts bring a different feeling – is this creative!