What is Sex

One parent asked - My 9 yrs old son just yesterday asked rafat a very unexpected question which turned our mind into utter confusion for a moment. He asked, " What is sex ? I was  unable to find a proper reply and tried to explain it as gender division  of male & female. My son , I know this but sex is something else other that this " When we asked, in which context you came a cross this word . His reply was that One of my senior school mate was speaking some sentences and he he used the word. After this he went to the teacher and asked him but the teacher didn't tell anything and continued teaching. Younger son (6yrs old) being smart suggested him to search this word in Youtube and Google . we were again shocked to imagine the adverse impact of internet. We just said to our son that we would discuss this medical term on sunday. Our concern is what to be explained to elder son about sex or in what manner ? Whatever he will come to know he will share with younger brother so, we will have to be very specific and clear before explaining such words . we need your suggestion in detail.

 

Here are some of our thoughts shared with parent - First, enjoy that he came and asked  you and seeking information from you. How you respond to this will decide If he will come again to you or nor. Its nice that you have taken time from him to know your own response.  Time to turn back to him and ask

 
  • What does he mean by sex?
  • Where all he has heard usage of this word? 
  • Draw with him - allow him to draw.
  • Write words in mind map (recommended) what all he says about sex.
  • If possible prompt him with words to understand how much he knows and what all you need to clarify. 
  • After you know what does he means about sex, affirm his knowledge. If he says, it means a boy and girl kissing - affirm that yes, this is part of sex. If he says it means boy and girl sleeping together, affirm yes this is also part of sex. If he says  this means parts of the body, affirm. If require use books to share what is sex. Time to get some books to help you. http://aarohilife.org/resources/sex-education
 
If possible how words originate? Wonder why bath is called bath and sex is called sex. Is bathing also sex? 
Wonder how one word is used in many situations 
 
Share that this word or context is not used openly in our society - if possible share why you think so. Ask him how does he feels with different gender (you need to decide how open he is is to talk) - talk in small dosages. Talk in different situations, invite him to talk ...so you were asking for sex, do you know how boys and girls are different? and so on. Try not to give any false information.  Also understand that he already is exposed to many things, so its time to talk more and talk more openly.  Talk not only about sex but many other aspects. Look at this as an opportunity to bring this topic in your dining room. 
 
Says a 18yrs old..."But to be able to honestly say to others, one must be at peace with the subject themselves. If in my mind there is a guilt or thoughts that make me feel bad about myself, then as a person it will be difficult to tell the child aboutsex as it is".  She was exposed to the topic of sex when she was 9yrs old, initially she would feel shy to talk later she started educating her own brother who was just six and was curious. The books on sex education was kept in open cupboards. More you talk and more you talk openly, the chances are that kids will take it more openly and keep this topic healthy. Its a myth that If you talk to them they will become  more curious and get involved in unhealthy sexual activities. Also it important to inform that child that in today's society sex is a taboo topic. Also people use code words, make fun of it but sex is not BAD. Another thing is as a parent it imp to be open about the topic and answer the child questions honestly. It is also imp to not give over info, that's why it important to understand the childs meaning of sex. There are many aspects of sex and the child will discover them slowly in life.
 
Resource Type: