Wikipedia describes fear as “Fear is an emotion induced by a threat perceived by living entities, which causes a change in brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior, such as running away, hiding or freezing from traumatic events.
At Aarohi we say “FEAR is also a choice and choice from limited options What does this means?”. When a child experiences FEAR, the child responds to that fear within limited options available to the child – cry, cling, withdraw, manipulate, complaint and so on. While we cannot stop or eradicate fear from our children’s life, we can create more options for our children to choose to respond to fear (or any other feeling).
Take an example – child has fear of darkness and cries
- ACCEPT it as it is, do not try to reject the fear by saying “there is nothing in darkness, see I told you its nothing……….”.
- PLAY with IT – Talk more about darkness – do not avoid, not create lighted spaces all around for your child or avoid going in dark, rather talk more about it – “where all we can find dark places, who all can live in dark places, how does darkness looks like, how does it feels, what all sounds comes from darkness……..”
- CREATE OPTIONS – so one option is to avoid it (child has chosen), another is to cry with fear……..what all can be other options?
- wear helmet every time go in darkness………..think of more crazy ideas
- ponder what can be alternative of crying? – laugh, whisper, chant, make noises(tribals) and so on
- Allow child to choose different options every day (like different dresses everyday). Different options are not the promises child is making to you to fulfill – so do not pasture for result (be courageous).
OUTCOME – You are creating different options to choose from, you are expanding thinking and creating different perspectives to look at. When child’s mind get used to of thinking different options for any one problem – soon it becomes habit of mind. If the child stays with one choice, child gets used to of limited options and that becomes habit of mind. So the outcomes may not be a courageous child, but a child THINKER.
At Aarohi any news is good news – so if the child fearful its “good news” – we can work on creating many options!!! Another opportunity to foster THINKING and CREATIVITY.