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Needs and Feelings
Submitted by aditi on 15 October, 2017 - 13:30
Bad News - Bad feelings for each other over some of the behaviors - “He took my stuff without asking me. He pushed me. He was teasing me. He was namecalling me. He was interfering with my work. He did not listen to me…”
Good news - Opportunity to understand “needs and wants”. And explore the alternate communication or communication of passion and expression.
We began with sharing concerns to each other. Others who received concern shared their thoughts. NVC (non-violent communication)cards brought excitement - cards had printed needs and feelings on them. This was like ready material to connect with our needs and feelings.
Each one who received picked up the needs and feelings due to their behavior like the one who was pushed felt hurt and his need is to feel safe”. Each one who raised the concerns picked up the cards pf their needs and feelings. All others were busy thinking and exploring their own needs and feelings. We realized that all our concerns were written and expressed using “blaming language” - He pushed me, He interfered and so on (blaming others). While when we used the language of “needs and feelings” we used the language of expression like “when I was pushed, I felt embarrassed to fall and my need is to feel safer”.
That’s all. We did not find any solution, we did not ask others to change their behavior, we did not punish anyone. We only introduced the tool to express. The session ended with sharing thoughts - Connecting to people, understand needs, feeling's, feel as others felt, understand each other, To belong, take care of others needs as well as ours, structure for feeling and needs, powerful tool for any age group ups to be aware if needs and feelings, understand and differentiate needs and feelings, we can get and receive help.