Life of a facilitator

As a child I thought, the teachers job is very easy. Wear nice saree, sit in the chair, check homework and teach her subject.

As a facilitator I thought I don't even have to teach, even easier job! But becoming facilitator was not easy. It demanded to settle internal struggle. It needed to look into self and question them. Sharing some of the insights from my one of the week I lived...

  • One child threw two mangoes in the dustbin saying "they were sour". I didn't know I need to impose my values or let the values to be formed as per individual decides.
  • In the Jatre, one child resisting to take notes or add value to the session. I was struggling to understand "how long you want to live with your own clouds of I can't, I don't like writing or this is boring". I know he may need more understanding of self, healing will take time but that takes away my peace! I need to find my peace!
  • One child "I can only think of two themes for my movies". Later together we listed yen more themes. For each these suggested he began with "but..what will I do"? As we discussed more about the scope it was turned into "this I can do".  
  • Few kids  "But I don't know cooking, I have never cooked" cooked various meals in the kitchen. Wondering...how much buried under the covers of "I can't, I don't want".
  • One child wrote his latest movie script. The first scene was about “gun and car and …”. I was off. Then I read and said to myself “he wrote his own script”. It was enough for me to not asked him to change his theme. I still don’t relate with violence, but I am ok to wait and watch.
  • One child was frying patty, he is very enthusiastic about food and cooking. For his love of food, he takes things in extra quantities...for him “more is better”. For me “Less is better”. We are often in conflict (internally for me). I wanted him to reduce, he had already started frying (the damage was done). Still I decided to ask him to reduce, he was not ready “this much is required, we can add it later in eggs and other cooking”. I left the battle, I was in pain, I am ok to wait and watch my own internal reactions.
  • One child starts any conversation with long long stories...this happened, this is not happening because, this will happen if...I prefer to not talk while working. Should I listen just because the child is speaking, should I let the child to stop just because I don't speak? I am in conflict.
  • Two kids fought, one was crying badly. The other child often hit other children in anger, in the morning also he shared “I am not able to control my anger”, And in the evening again hit one child. My first reaction “again”. But listening to both, and acknowledging “you are feeling upset”, helped me to see the both the sides. One hit other when the other slapped, both said “we lost because they both got angry”. I was not required to to decide for them, I was needed only to listen.
  • One 12 yrs old was lost with her planning. Initial internal reaction was “not taking responsibility of herself”. But when she told “I am not clear 11am comes before lunch or after”. I realized that I was working with a belief “she knows the timings”. Now my role was different!
  • One 13yr told said, “I am not good in painting, I will mess up”. I have heard this millions of times from various ages. Rarely I find someone who dares to dance and sing if they are not good. and I wonder “such pleasures of life are messed up in the pools of good and bad”.  I hate maths is very common and the beauty of maths does not lies in only sums, but in understanding the concepts and seeing the rhythm in them.
  • Two kids were shopping with me in the supermarket. I picked on 200 gms packet for rs 105/- and 500 gms packet for rs 220/-. I asked both of the to find the cheapest pack. They both selected 200 gm packet (lees money). I gave one of them 5 packets of 200gm and one of them two packets of 500 gms. They again said “200 gms packet is less money and more in numbers” Well, I asked them to add total weight, they figured the weight was equal, but the money was not equal. They selected two packs of 500 gms as it was cheaper.  It was eureka moment for both of them. Most of the kids I meet are afraid of maths, most don’t like history and geography, most are believe that they are good in paintings and art, very few loves music or dance or drama, some like art and craft, some cook, very less knows basic plate washing, or almost all are not equipped with emotion tools, most hates writing, very few will know to grow their food or cost of their meals...wondering what are we educating our kids for?

 

Sometimes the person inside me is frustrated with these voices " I can't, I don't want, but...why should I”.

Sometimes the person inside me is accepting " " I can't, I don't want, but...why should I".

Sometimes me inside is at peace with all these inhibitions.

Sometimes at unrest!

Sometimes I seek help

Sometimes I blew off

Sometimes I pause

Sometimes I wait

And Sometimes act and react.

But the life is not as easy "sit and relax". I need to understand my struggles to be able to sit and relax! Its just not struggle, its life!